Create a scenario of your own (involving 2-4 characters) without describing it and then convert it into a self-contained dialogue of no more than 500 words. Our job as your readers will be to work out as much as we can about the scenario and the characters involved from the dialogue alone.
- Linda, come on!
- NO! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BASTARD.
- I know how much you like pancakes, so I made you some. Here, can’t you smell them?
- No, I can’t smell them, and I won’t smell them.
- Where is Fluffy?
- The cat?
- YES, THE CAT. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GODDAMN CAT?
- I just let him out in the garden. I know you don’t like to do that, but I took a stab at it anyway.
- Oh my gohohoood.
- No, don’t start crying. I can give you a hug if you just come out of that bath room.
- Just GO AWAY. I never wanted you here in the first place. The police are on their way!
- No they aren’t. I know you don’t have a phone in there. I fixed your sink after all.
- I might have a cell phone!
- No, I can see the kitchen from here, and I see your cell phone from here. Just come out, I can stay here all day.
- Someone will look for me!
- Nope. They all think you’ve been on an airplane the last 20 minutes. The only one who will be suspicious will not know in another twelve hours.
- Have you been listening to everything I’ve said the last week!?
- You made it quite easy to do it, dear.
- EASY!? I was on the second floor when we planned that trip, WITH MY DOOR CLOSED. THERE’S NO CHANCE YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD THAT UNLESS YOU LISTENED FROM JUST OUTSIDE MY DOOR.
- Well you shouldn’t have kept that secret from me, I mean really? Why would you do that?
- WHY WOUDN’T I!? DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS A PORNO OR SOMETHING!?
- No, but I saw how you looked at me when I left last time I was here.
- I wasn’t even by the window when you left; I was in my room crying. Please… just leave.
- YOU KNOW WHAT!? IT’S YOUR FUCKING CHOICE NOW! EITHER I BREAK DOWN THIS FUCKING DOOR, AND GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST KISS I’VE EVER GIVEN SOMEONE, OR I LEAVE AND I NEVER COME BACK!
- Just LEAVE then!
- FUCK YOU BITCH! I’M COMING IN!
- I HAVE A KNIFE! I’LL FUCKING STAB YOU!
- Pfft. Sure. I’m breaking down this door now, Linda.
Yo!
ReplyDeleteGood stuff!
The first dialogue was the one I liked the most, but I am wondering a little whether it was intentional to make the childlike creature (the teenager) seem a little dumb in the end? I mean where you said that she had been living in dumb town for two years, which is probably enough time for someone of moderate intelligence to figure out certain customs, such as guards throwing people out. It made me wonder whether she has some kind of memory problem (the fact that she said her name "was... IS Noreen" pointed me in that direction)or if she means that she has been in many towns during the last two years and they've all been dumb or if she, being a part of what she called dumb town, is dumb too. Either way, I don't mind a bit of ambiguity since it invites the readers to choose what to think and to fill in the gaps for themselves.
The second one was good in that the "mood" is shifting which makes it come alive. First awkward, then suspicious, then friendly, then confused and hostile.
In the third one, I think that writing the characters' names would have helped a little. I liked it but it seems like they are not getting every other line which made it a bit hard to know who was speaking until I read through it a second time.
Once I did that it was clear that it is about a couple or an ex-couple, the woman having locked herself in the bathroom, the man cajoling her to come out. Throughout it, there is an excalating sense of anger and hostility due to the ever more frequent use of capitalization. This I found quite effective for displaying the character's feelings.
Peace