E-Writing Assignment 3

1) Haiku

Fallen rain

Has soaked the giant

Petrichor

2) Haiku

Sense

3) Limerick

Before you read my Limerick:

Gershon Legman, who compiled the largest and most scholarly anthology, held that the true limerick as a folk form is always obscene, and cites similar opinions by Arnold Bennett and George Bernard Shaw, describing the clean limerick as a periodic fad and object of magazine contests, rarely rising above mediocrity. From a folkloric point of view, the form is essentially transgressive; violation of taboo is part of its function.

-Wikipedia

I maintain that I am of impeccable mental health.

Do go on.

There once was a person called Gary

His grandmother he was to bury

The verdict said guilty

The crime was most filthy

He'd popped his late grandmother's cherry

E-writing Assignment 2.3

Create a scenario of your own (involving 2-4 characters) without describing it and then convert it into a self-contained dialogue of no more than 500 words. Our job as your readers will be to work out as much as we can about the scenario and the characters involved from the dialogue alone.

- Linda, come on!

- NO! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BASTARD.

- I know how much you like pancakes, so I made you some. Here, can’t you smell them?

- No, I can’t smell them, and I won’t smell them.

- Where is Fluffy?

- The cat?

- YES, THE CAT. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GODDAMN CAT?

- I just let him out in the garden. I know you don’t like to do that, but I took a stab at it anyway.

- Oh my gohohoood.

- No, don’t start crying. I can give you a hug if you just come out of that bath room.

- Just GO AWAY. I never wanted you here in the first place. The police are on their way!

- No they aren’t. I know you don’t have a phone in there. I fixed your sink after all.

- I might have a cell phone!

- No, I can see the kitchen from here, and I see your cell phone from here. Just come out, I can stay here all day.

- Someone will look for me!

- Nope. They all think you’ve been on an airplane the last 20 minutes. The only one who will be suspicious will not know in another twelve hours.

- Have you been listening to everything I’ve said the last week!?

- You made it quite easy to do it, dear.

- EASY!? I was on the second floor when we planned that trip, WITH MY DOOR CLOSED. THERE’S NO CHANCE YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD THAT UNLESS YOU LISTENED FROM JUST OUTSIDE MY DOOR.

- Well you shouldn’t have kept that secret from me, I mean really? Why would you do that?

- WHY WOUDN’T I!? DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS A PORNO OR SOMETHING!?

- No, but I saw how you looked at me when I left last time I was here.

- I wasn’t even by the window when you left; I was in my room crying. Please… just leave.

- YOU KNOW WHAT!? IT’S YOUR FUCKING CHOICE NOW! EITHER I BREAK DOWN THIS FUCKING DOOR, AND GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST KISS I’VE EVER GIVEN SOMEONE, OR I LEAVE AND I NEVER COME BACK!

- Just LEAVE then!

- FUCK YOU BITCH! I’M COMING IN!

- I HAVE A KNIFE! I’LL FUCKING STAB YOU!

- Pfft. Sure. I’m breaking down this door now, Linda.

E-writing Assignment 2.2

Create and briefly describe a scenario of your own (involving 2-4 characters) and then write a matching dialogue to go with it. As with the task above, try to bring your scenario to some sort of close in the actual dialogue. Target length (including scenario description): 350-750 words.

Man 1 bumps into Man 2, and accidentally makes Man 2 drop his box of chocolates. They start talking, and find out they are both going to the same woman, or are they?

Man 1: Sorry for bumping in to, man. I’m just a little stressed. I can replace it? Here, I have ten dollars in my wallet, you can have it.

Man 2: Thanks. Too bad ten dollars won’t buy me back that box of chocolates right away. My girlfriend called me and said I had to come over, right away. She sounded kinda down, so I bought her that box of chocolates just to give her something nice.

Man 1: Well this is ironic. I’m stressed out because of the exact same thing.

Man 2: Yeah, that is ironic. Wouldn’t it be creepy if we were going to the same girl?

Man 1: Yeah. Which stop is yours?

Man 2: Central Park North.

Man 1: No way. That’s my stop.

Man 2: No way.

Man 1: Yes, that’s my stop.

Man 2: You don’t think we’re going to the same girl do you?

Man 1: I don’t know, man. What’s you girlfriend’s name?

Man 2: Lindsey. She lives on 110th.

Man 1: Not West, right?

Man 2: Would you believe me if i said no?

Man 1: Probably not… What floor?

Man 2: Third.

Man 1: Does she live with a roommate?

Man 2: Yup. She has a roommate. The roommate’s name is… Lindsey… HahaHAHA. Could you believe that? How the hell could we forget about that?

Man 1: When you say it… yeah, they’re both named Lindsey. Can’t believe I forgot about that. I think you scared me so much I forgot. Isn’t it pretty dumb though? Being roommate with a girl with the same name as herself. They pretty much asked for this to happen.

Man 2: Hah, yeah. It could’ve gone really bad though. The scene I would have caused would have to be kept in check by cops.

Man 1: Same here. I may be pretty calm, but I hate it when people back stab you like that.

Man 2: Yeah, I had a friend that did that to his girlfriend once. He had to come clean.

Man 1: How come?

Man 2: I punched his his front teeth out. Told him that I would punch them all out if he didn’t come clean.

Man 1: Whoa dude. Who was the girl?

Man 2: My little sister.

Man 1 : Oh. Ok then, mental note to self: Don’t cheat on someone that has a big brother.

Man 2: Good idea. So if I’m not completely wrong, your Lindsey is from Minnesota, right?

Man 1: No, my Lindsey is from Ohio…

Man 1 and Man 2 looks at each other with a look of dread. Man 1 gets up from his seat, and sits down at the other end of the subway wagon.

E-writing Assignment 2.1

Select one of the following scenarios, copy it to your page and then write a matching dialogue to go with it. Whatever your choice, try to bring the scenario to some sort of close in the actual dialogue. Target length: 250-500 words.

A childlike creature dressed in muddy rags is rudely awakened from her sleep by what appears to be an inquisitive leprechaun prodding her with an oak twig.

Leprechaun: Child! CHILD!

Childlike (Staring at the small man intently): Whaaaat?

Leprechaun: You can’t sleep here. They are looking for kids like you to take to the orphanage. Don't you know that?

Childlike: First of all, who are “they”? Second, I’m fifteen years old.

Leprechaun (Looks surprised from the news): Oh… Awful small are you not?

Childlike: Yeah, I have heard that one before.

Leprechaun: But I just said it, and we only just met! Are you some kind of wizard?

Childlike: No… Just… I… (Deep sigh) Who are “they”, and why would they take me? I’m not a child.

Leprechaun: They are The Police, and they take teenagers too you know!

Childlike: What do they do with teenagers?

Leprechaun: Throw ‘em out the city gates.

Childlike (Looks around at the surroundings): They don’t recruit or anything. They just throw us out?

Leprechaun: Yes.

Childlike: How do they stop us from getting in again?

Leprechaun: They don’t.

Childlike: They don’t? Why the bloody hell not?

Leprechaun: Costs too much they say.

Childlike: But, why do they even throw us out then?

Leprechaun: Because of their motto. “They will tire before we do!”

Childlike (Stares at the leprechaun, visibly dumbfounded): …….. Really? They do the same thing with criminals?

Leprechaun: Yes, and yes. Most persistent lot they are. They don't do it like that where you come from?

Childlike: I don’t really know if I’d call that persistence or stupidity… And no, they don't.

Leprechaun): If you think you know better than them, how about you go tell them what they have to do?

Childlike: You know what? I think I will. And here I was looking for a place to sleep, not a place to work. Then again, I think I will be able to do both this time.

Leprechaun: This time? Where are you from, girl?

Childlike: I hail from Nowhere, I’ve lived a while in Noneofyourbusiness and I’ve been here in Dumb City for two years now.

Leprechaun: … This town isn’t called Dumb City.

Childlike: From now on it is, and the other cities are all along the west coast.

Leprechaun: Oh, I see. What is your name child, so I know who to call for when I see you again?

Childlike: Noreen… My name was… IS Noreen.

The teenage girl stood up straight, stretched a little, and then set off to the police station.